The first, and maybe last, “naked soul interview” by Master Baba Ecnarongi

A caricature of the Master, or is it?

The Master Interviews Some Rich Guy

Who is the Master?
For those who are new to my web site, some introduction is needed here. I got interested in channelling several years ago, and it was after the new age movement had already become very BIG. Consequently, all the Great Masters, and even the Pretty Darn Good Masters, were really busy. I ended up choosing between the Mediocre Masters, and Master Baba Ecnarongi sounded like a good Master-like name, so I picked him. Master Control then introduced us, with profuse apologies to me, and I didn’t yet know why. Much later, I realized that “Ecnarongi” is what you get if you spell “ignorance” backwards.
Oh well. Guess I’m stuck with him now.

Now that Master Baba Ecnarongi has barged back into my life, I thought of some ways to make him useful. Well, actually, I asked him, and he said he would get back to me on that.

...two months pass, and...

Amazingly, he did, and he suggested something called a "naked soul interview".
"What's that?", I asked, and he said that when people sleep, their souls leave their bodies for some period of time every night, and it is possible to talk to them, without the usual ego and fears that they have when they are awake. When you ask them a question, they always tell the truth, or what they believe is the truth. He then claimed that he has the ability to do this, and he will interview various people, during sessions with his channel. That would be me, the only person on Earth who has the patience and carpet like personality to put up with him. Ugh! It's not easy.
Basically, while I am channelling him, he will be doing the same with one of these sleeping people. To them it will be like a dream, where the setting can be what ever works best for them, and they might even remember it the next day. It seems kind of cool to be in one of these conversations with someone who is probably far more insightful and intelligent than the Master. That would be almost anyone.
I said "That sounds interesting, let's give it a try!"

Here is the first of these interviews, where the person being interviewed always tells the truth, or so says the Master. Comments in parenthesis are things I added later while reading it all back. Based on the success of this interview, I will have a little more respect for the Master than I did. He is not really the totally egocentric jerk that I thought he was. Mostly, but not totally.

(Interviewee: A high ranking executive of the American Cancer Society, known here as AC)

(Interviewer: Master Baba Ecnarongi, with prompting from me so he will ask intelligent questions, at least once in a while.)

(Apparently the person being interviewed can hear everything the Master says, even if it is only intended for me. Good thing he could not hear what I had to say. Also, I edited a couple of unsavory words from "AC", the subject of the interview.)

MB: Hello, sir. May I interrupt your ridiculous, childish dream for a minute so we can talk?
AC: F**k off, you old bum! can't you see that I 'M BUSY?
Me: Oops! try again. That was not the best way to get a friendly answer. Try to be a little less condescending.
MB: Why should I bow to this idiot?
Me: I can see this is not going to go well. Hmmmm. Can you pretend that he is a member of Master Control? Then you may be able to approach him with a little more humility.
MB: But he isn't, and besides they are also a bunch of idiots!
Me: Ayyyyy-ayyy! You know, this was your idea, and it sure looks like it's going to be another loser.
MB: My ideas are always good. You know that.
Me: Prove it.
MB: Okay, I'll show you I can really do this.
(Progress? we'll see. Understanding the Master as I do, it is some times possible to get him to do something right. Some times.)
MB: (Gagging sound) Hello sir. May I interrupt your beautiful and inspired dream for a minute so we can talk?
Me: Much better.
AC: Sure, young man. What's up?
(That's interesting. The Master always appears to me as an old, balding guy in a robe or a toga.)
MB: I get the feeling that you are a very important man, and it would be interesting to interview you. I am working on my Master's degree in business administration, and this is one of my assignments.
(Wow. I didn't know the Master knew words like "administration", or anything about college.)
AC: Indeed, I am very important. I am an executive at the American Cancer Society.
(Wow again. Not bad for a first catch.)
MB: That is very important indeed. I have had a few lives at that level, but not many.
Me: Stay away from that reincarnation stuff, he's probably a Christian.
AC: Harumph! Are you one of those weird hippies who claim to be students so you can be on welfare?
Me: Uh-oh. Try not to say anything like that again. This one is a hard case.
MB: Not at all sir. Just kidding about those past lives.
AC: I have always liked a man with a sense of humor. You'll go far, young man.
Me: Good job. Great recovery.
MB: Sir, you really are important. You are at the front line in the battle against cancer, one of the most terrible diseases known to humanity. It is an honor to speak with you, a great honor, sir.
(Holy crap! He has never been like this with me.)
Me: You can really butter him up like that and he doesn't think you're being sarcastic? Wow! He doesn't know you very well, does he?
MB: See? I told you I could do this!
AC: Do what?
MB: Oops. I have this annoying guy on my cell phone. Real pain in the ass. I'll just hang up on him, because you are much more important.
AC: Thank you.
Me: Thanks a lot.
MB: So what's new in the fight against cancer? Are we winning?
AC: Unfortunately, at this point in time, I would have to say not.
MB: Sorry to hear that. My grandmother has throat cancer, and I can't get her to stop chewing tobacco.
AC: Your grandmother chews tobacco?
MB: Uh, yes, sir. I am from Arkansas.
Me: Don't try to be too folksy. This guy is probably a rich kid.
MB: But I am not like that. I want to make something of myself.
AC: I also have some family members I am not proud of, but I'm not like that either.
MB: I see. I still care about her. Is there any hope?
AC: Actually there is a cure for throat cancer, but we did a pretty good job on that one.
MB: I'm not sure I understand. Why can't she get this cure?
AC: We debunked it. Made that guy look like an idiot, fit for the rubber room.
MB: What guy?
AC: The guy who invented it. By the time we got done with him, he lost everything and went to jail for practicing medicine without a license.
MB: But....if you did that, his cure isn't going to help anyone.
AC: Right, and I get to keep my plush, cushy position for a few more years.
MB: What?
Me: Uh-oh! What's going on here?
MB: But.... you are supposed to be fighting cancer. I don't get it.
Me: I think I am getting it. I hope not.
AC: You see, young man, I have been living the good life for quite a few years now, and I only need to stay here for a few more, then I can retire as a very wealthy man, and live the rest of my life on a tropical island in incredible luxury, and never have to think about this crappy job again. You see, if we found a cure, then there would be no more need for this organization, or me. I have to keep this whole racket going until I retire, to maximize my profit potential. I don't care what happens after that, as long as I get my money out first. Money, that's the name of the game here. The object is to get as rich as possible, as quick as possible. Wouldn't you agree?
Me: I got it, all right. Jesus. Be careful when you go after the truth. You just might get it.
MB: Uh, My channel isn't happy with this. I think we should close this interview.
Me: No, keep going. This is shocking, but actually very interesting.
AC: Channel? Are we on TV?
MB: Okay. Uh I mean no. We are not on TV, but I, too want to make money.
AC: I take that to mean "yes", you do agree. I thought you would agree. You really will go far, young man. Remember, money is everything.
MB: No, I meant....oh never mind. What about my grandmother.
AC: In this game, we have to make a few sacrifices. Collateral damage, that's the way it is. Money is everything.
MB: I know she will be in a better place when she is gone. I guess I am not too worried. Surely, she will go to Heaven.
AC: Son, don't worry about that religious crap. What's important is what's right in front of you, here and now. There is really no God, no Heaven, and no Hell. When you're gone, that's it. The lights go out and the show is over. What's important is all that time from when you get out of college until then. That's what matters. Worrying about Heaven or Hell won't make you successful right now. Make a million, and if you have to make some sacrifices to do it, don't worry about it, as long as someone else is the sacrifice. Then make a few more million. You can have your Heaven right here on Earth. That's what I believe in. I believe in money. All this stuff about God is for pansies and liberals, not for successful people like me, or you, for that matter. Losers believe in God, winners believe in profit. Ha ha! Profit, not prophets and seers, that's where it's at! All that religious stuff is garbage, made up to fool the losers, so they can keep working hard for the winners! Be a winner, young man, and you will go far. Take the profit and let the losers grovel in front of their crosses and do all the hard work for you! Ha!
Me: Sounds like he really means it. Definitely not a Christian. I used to be an atheist, but I am not so sure, now. I don't want to be like this guy, no matter how rich he is. You definitely pushed a button there.
MB: I see. Just how much do we need to sacrifice?
AC: Oh, plenty. Actually, we have found dozens of cures for specific cancers, and even a few cures for all cancers. They are popping up all over the place like mushrooms after a s**t storm. So far we have debunked them all, but it's only a matter of time before it all comes to light, and I hope by then, I am retired and living like a king, with all this crap just a distant memory.
MB: But what if you get cancer?
AC: Oh, that's no problem. I know what those cures are, so it's not going to get me. Actually, they are really simple and cheap. If you ever get cancer, call me, and I will tell you what to do. Just don't tell anyone else. Bad for business.
MB: I see. Will there be any opportunities for me to get rich like you?
AC: There is always opportunity, young man. Always look up and think big, and don't be afraid to do anything. Money is good. If it makes money, then it's good. That's what it's all about. Taxes and regulations just get in the way. Avoid them any way you can. Government is your enemy. Those goody goody liberals and communists are out to ruin everything! They envy success, and everywhere they see it, they want to tear it down. Just a bunch of cry babies! They can't be successful, so they don't want anyone else to be either.
Me: Not a Christian, but definitely a Republican.
MB: Thank you sir. You are very wise, indeed. I am humbled by your very presence.
Me: AAAACKK!!!! I think I'm gonna barf!
AC: All in good time young man. Just remember, money is everything.
Me: Wow! That was interesting. You stumbled a little bit but you got it. Well done!
MB: I told you I could do it. Have faith in me, for a change. I'm a genius!
AC: I will always have faith in opportunity, young man, and in young men who pursue it, like you.
Me: He never quits, does he?
MB: I gotta go now. I have lots of homework to do, and I want to be a success like you.
AC: Take care. You'll do well, young man.

(I wonder if the Master was laying it on like that because he knew it would make me gag. Anyway, this is where it ended, far more successfully than I would have imagined.)

The obligatory legal fine print:

By the way, just in case the American Cancer Society’s huge and well financed legal staff is thinking about suing me for the above, remember that the whole interview story is a paranormal event, and, as everybody knows, paranormal events don’t really happen. Also, my entire net worth is probably far less then the cost of the hat rack in AC’s mansion, so you won’t get anything out of it. I had to say this because only corporations have free speech these days, and they can throw as much money at it as they want to. For the rest of us, free speech is just part of the “good old days” when we had a Constitution, which we are not likely to see again.

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